Making balance and focus the new normal
At the end of 2022, I was down with COVID. After evading it for 2 years it finally caught up with me. While my symptoms haven’t been severe, they’re continuing to affect even after 3 weeks. It’s been a blessing to have the holiday season to rest and recharge and give myself the chance to recover fully.
Given my continued fatigue, the prospect of returning to normal has been daunting. Upon reflection, I'm realising it's important redefine “normal” for myself. I've picked up poor habits that need to be reshaped- taking on too much, engaging in too many activities that drained me and too few that energised me, and ignoring my body’s limits. Being sick sucks, but it has forced me to stop and take stock. I was operating in an unhealthy “normal” and it’s a good thing that I can’t sustain it going forward.
Over the break I’ve read 3 books that have started to shape some experiments on how to make balance and focus the new normal in my life: Make Time by John Zeratsky and Jake Knapp, Essentialism by Greg McKweon and When the Body Says No by Gabor Maté.
Experiment 1: Daily Highlight
In Make Time, John and Jake explore the ways in which we’re sucked into busyness and distraction in our current world. They talk about the Busy Bandwagon, the culture where we equate busyness with productivity and consider being busy a status symbol; they also talk about Infinity Pools, the endless sources of content to distract us. Between the unfocused (and often unproductive) swirl of busy, and endless distraction, it’s challenging to make time for the things that matter.
One of the key points that really stands out to me from Make Time is our tendency to set goals that tend to be too high level, and tasks that tend to be unfocused. The missing link is prioritisation. It seems simple, but regularly asking ourselves 'what's most important' seems to be a rare discipline in a world inundated by busyness and distraction. For individuals and teams, in a world that is changing and evolving constantly, prioritisation needs to be a dynamic process, anchored by ritual discipline.
My first experiment as I try to build a new normal for myself that’s more balanced, focused and productive is to establish that ritual of prioritisation: the Daily Highlight. Each day I will spend time considering the most important thing I want to accomplish for the day, the thing that will leave me feeling a sense of accomplishment and progress at the end of day. The highlight might be something urgent that I have to do, or something important I want to prioritise. Either way, I want to be deliberate about choosing the most important thing, and allotting distraction-free time for it.
Experiment 2: The Vital Few over the Trivial Many
The second key unlock for me came from Essentialism by Greg McKweon. Greg speaks about how much of our lives is cluttered with that which is non-essential. He speaks about how our greatest impact often comes from focusing on the "vital few" and eliminating the "trivial many". The motto of essentialism is "less, but better".
As I reflected on this in my own life, I realised I do not filter opportunities, activities and tasks with nearly enough rigour. The result is constantly having too much on my plate, trying to get everything done all the time, and in turn actually accomplishing very little of what truly matters. In addition to prioritising what's important or essential, this philosophy pushes me to eliminate most or all of the rest, because most things actually don't matter and a few things matter a great deal.
So here's experiment 2: every opportunity, activity and task I want to take on, I will pause and choose deliberately based on two filters- is this is my highest contribution? Do I feel a 'hell yes' towards it? I will strive to eliminate almost everything that doesn't make this cut. As someone who struggles with FOMO, I know this will challenge me, but I feel committed to living by the principle of "less, but better" so I can make space for the things that truly matter.
Experiment 3: Where did I not say no today?
Finally, Gabor Maté’s work has really reshaped how I relate to my body. Gabor talks about how chronic illness is an indication that we are not honouring our needs; as a result of pushing past our boundaries we create stress, and illness is the body's way of pushing back and saying no. Gabor outlines the inextricable link between stress and illness.
I know in my own life, pushing past my body’s limits and making things happen feels like achievement- a badge of honour that I conquered something in the face of adversity. But the reality is, I am falling out of integrity with my body’s needs and boundaries. This leads me to experiment 3: making space to reflect at the end of each day and consider, where did I not say no? There may well be times when I have to make trade-offs, but I want those to be intentional choices rather than default responses coming from a place of obligation or people pleasing.
Recovering from COVID has really pushed me to consider my needs and boundaries in a new way. I have a tendency to rush getting back to normal. Had I not had the insight from this reading and reflection, I would've pushed myself to get back to exercising and doing things normally within 2 weeks of contracting the virus. I've fallen into the trap of seeing my body as a means to an end, something to bend to my will, an object. The truth is the human body is a profound miracle, with its own deep wisdom, connected to mind and spirit; the more I can relate to it, and with it, as a subject in its own right, I can finally start to heal the imbalance of the past and find a new normal that is balanced, focused and ultimately life-affirming.
Bringing this to life
For me, being busy, distracted and in constant motion is often an unconscious response to feeling anxious. A big piece of this puzzle is creating more space to pause and reflect, and in doing so, to deal with the anxiety directly rather than being led unconsciously by it.
These experiments feel counter-cultural: it is a norm to be constantly busy and distracted; to say yes to the endless opportunities and activities we have access to; to push our body to its limit in service of achievement. It's felt easy to play with these concepts and build these experiments into my life while on break, when there's ample time to rest and reflect and ample space to be deliberate.
As we return from break, this is where the rubber hits the road, and I am nervous and curious to see how things pan out. But the best part is these are experiments, I can test and learn until I find my footing. At the end of the day, my intention is to bring more focus and balance into my life, and in doing so to progress the things that really matter.
